A few weeks ago, I wrote about an unusual coping strategy I have for anxiety: the 'worry hierarchy' on my fridge. Today I'm going to share another slightly out-of-the-ordinary thing I do to help myself: having imagined conversations with people in my head.
You might find this funny and, believe me, sometimes it makes me laugh too. What I mean by this though is that I take a topic that's bothering me, such as a dilemma or a worry that's circling my mind, and imagine what different people would say about this subject. It's one of my ways of gathering perspectives and exploring a topic from different angles. As I'm prone to anxiety and overly-fixating on certain things, especially how others might be thinking of me, it helps to make a conscious effort to expand my awareness of alternative viewpoints. Even remembering that alternative viewpoints is a start when my stressful thoughts kick in and act like they have the last word on a given subject.
Some of these people I problem solve with in my mind are real people I know, some are real but from TV and others are fictional book characters. Some of these individuals give me words of wisdom or encouragement when I need them. One of these people is someone off a TV show who seems really kind, but also doesn't take anything too seriously. It's often useful to think about what a person who sees the lighter side of life would say to me because I take far too many things far too seriously (!). Others in this cast of characters help me find the confidence to feel okay doing things differently and having needs that might be different from other people's.
I'm sharing that I problem solve with imaginary friends because I think it's a really helpful way of accessing different perspectives. Throughout history, leaders have had 'round tables' of advisors there for them to discuss big ideas and plan their next moves. As the central character in our own lives, I think we deserve the same!
We live inside our own minds— and our own thoughts can echo and amplify until they become (unhelpful) caricatures of themselves. By having an imagined conversation with others, we can see about things from a different angle without having to rely on others in our lives. I'm not suggesting that discussing difficulties and seeking advice or perspectives from people in our lives is a bad thing, it's not. It's more that sometimes it's not possible or we don't want to. I'm lucky that whilst I have lots of people I can turn to when I need advice or an alternative perspective, I can't always ask these people everything all the time— at least in the first instance.
Dialogue has long been valued as a way to reach more objective truths. In fact, the origins of the word 'dialectic' in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy can be traced to the dialogues between Socrates and his student Plato (and likely go back even further!). The two philosophers discussed opposing ideas until they reached a synthesis.
Anyway. Enough from me! Let me know if you do this too or if you are going to now start talking to imaginary friends as a result of this post!
Rosie x
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